MOST-READ
A Statement From The University Of Pennsylvania Regarding The College Admissions Bribery Scandal | The 6th most-read article on McSweeney's Internet Tendency in 2019
I, Too, Grew Up in the Crime-Ridden Streets of Bethesda, Maryland | The 8th most-read article on McSweeney's in 2018
Hi, It's Us, All The Fourteen-Year-Old Girls In America | The 8th most-read article on McSweeney's in 2017
2025
I’ve Figured Out What My Mayoral Run Is Missing: I Need to Start Sexually Harassing Women McSweeney’s
2024
Baby, It’s Me, Polio, and I’ve Missed You McSweeney’s
I’m a Good, Normal Family Man Who Just Wants to Inspect Your Genitals Before You Pee McSweeney’s
Boeing Announces New Safety Policy: “Fuck It, We Ball” McSweeney’s
A Day in the Life of Taylor Swift, as Imagined by Right-Wing Conspiracy Theorists McSweeney’s
2022
2021
The Democratic Party’s Guide to Keeping Your Rights McSweeney’s
Bridgerton’s Lady Whistledown Is Pleased to Announce She Is Joining Substack McSweeney’s
2020
Making Sure Your Vote Counts: A Guide McSweeney’s
The City of Minneapolis Releases Statements of Probable Cause for Other Notable Violent Incidents McSweeney’s
I, Meghan Markle, Have Been Plotting This My Entire Life Washington Post
2019
Introducing: Gender-Reveal Funerals McSweeney’s
These Detention Centers Aren’t Concentration Camps Because Technically Auschwitz is Trademarked McSweeney’s
Honestly, We Just Hate Women McSweeney’s
Creation: An Oral History McSweeney’s
Finally, A Razor For Men McSweeney’s
2018
I See You've Rejected My Expense Report for a Lap Dance at the Stormy Daniels Strip Club McSweeney's
Fashion Tips for Visiting a Detention Center Filled with Children Who Were Ripped From Their Parents' Arms McSweeney's